


Winter Soldier AUs: A Brief Survey by J. B. Barnes

by GloriaMundi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Community: trope_bingo, Gen, Metafiction, recs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 22:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5107634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GloriaMundi/pseuds/GloriaMundi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adapted from a presentation I gave at <a href="https://nineworlds.co.uk/">Nine Worlds 2015</a>, as a fill for the 'breaking the fourth wall' trope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Winter Soldier AUs: A Brief Survey by J. B. Barnes

So, why the hell am I even reading fanfiction? You may well ask. I blame Sam and the Widow. Sam said I needed to think about choices and how I ain't had any for a long time, and reading about other ways it could all have gone, other lives I might've had instead of that Hydra shit, might kinda inspire me.

Natasha? Oh, _she_ just said I should read some smut if I was having ... trouble ... that way. Sheesh.

So, fanfic -- that's what they call it, though I reckon it's not so different from some of the blue stories and eight-pagers when I was a kid -- can be therapy, or it can be, ah, entertainment. And when I read the ones called Alternate Universes -- AUs for short \-- I can think about choices and possibilities. Oh, and [llamas](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2214642). (Hey, it _might_ be an AU. Who knows what dumb idea Stark'll come up with next? Therapy llamas ain't the worst.)

So, seems to me there's two kinds of AU. (Well, three. The 'hasn't happened yet' kind, the ones that are about how things are now -- I try not to read those. For the record, I ain't never been a crybaby, and nor's Steve. Smashin' shit to let the anger out, yeah. [Takin' out every Hydra cell I can find](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1725374), abso-fuckin'-lutely. Cryin' on each other's shoulders? not so much. But hey, Hydra left me with plenty of surprises in my head, so never say never.)  


Two kinds of AU. Right. The ones about what might've happened differently: that's the 'choices' thing, though I gotta say some of these don't feel like anybody chose anything. I sure as hell didn't choose to fall off that train. I didn't choose this fucking arm. I didn't ...

Okay. Two kinds. What do I want to _change_ , and what do I want to _be_. Well, the short answer is 'everything' and 'someone else', so I guess --

Yeah, I guess I need to get a grip.

The nicest kind of AU, I guess, is the kind where none of that Hydra shit ever happened. Not to me, anyhow. It's like that game you play when you're kids. "What do you want to be when you grow up, Bucky?" "Oh, I wanna be a spaceman! or a cowboy! or a pirate!"

I've read 'em all.

I can honestly say I never dreamed of being a [tattoo artist](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2518139), or a [ballet dancer](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3447416), or a band leader -- beg your pardon, [rock star](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3220169) \-- or an [actor in blue movies](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3728935). (We're not talking about the blue movie shit. I promise you I ain't all that. 'Sides, only one guy gets to see me naked these days.) Never dreamed I'd work as a [chef](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1147459), or a [baker](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4567641), or a [fancy florist](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2579237). Come to think of it, I never dreamed of being a brainwashed assassin, either. Just goes to show.

It's not like I chose it. Nobody chose it, 'cept those Hydra assholes: an' I guess I didn't turn out quite how they wanted.

There's a lot of different choices, times where things could've gone differently. What if Steve never made it through that bad winter in '38? I'd've died in Azzano, when Zola got his claws in me. What if I'd never gotten drafted? (Yeah, Steve, only a complete dumbass would volunteer. There's other ways of winning a war.) What if _Steve_ gave up before he met that German quack? Nah, what am I saying? Steve Rogers, give up? He ain't got the sense.

Or ... what if we'd [headed north when war broke out in Europe, and gotten ourselves enlisted in the Canadian Air Force](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1527035)? What if, what if, what if. What if [Stevie'd been born a woman](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1564184)? Nah, don't laugh, he'd've made a cute dame. What if Steve'd caught me 'fore I fell off the train? [What if we both fell off the train](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2779244)? (Scratch that: they'd've got Steve too, and he'd've broken.) What if someone'd come and found me before the Soviets? What if that jerk hadn't gone off all heroic and self-sacrificin' an' got hisself buried in the ice? _He'd_ have come.

(I think he'd have come.)

Maybe [he'd've married his girl and had a family](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1799623). I kinda like the sound of that, right up to the bit where he finds out I was being tortured and brainwashed instead of being dead. Yeah: AUs where Steve gets a bit more happiness before he starts trying to put me back together. That's what I like. Steve happy.

If I was writing one of these things, I'd write it so Steve saved me in the Alps, and I saved him in the plane, and we went home and lived happily ever after. I'd write that we both made it through the war and out the other side, and nobody's heart got broken, an' nobody's brains got scrambled. An' it wasn't a dream, except for the sort that comes true.

**Author's Note:**

> There'd be many more links but, because I am ~~lazy~~ busy, I haven't bookmarked all the fics I had in mind .... feel free to add your own in the comments!


End file.
